I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
