Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
