His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize