wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
