Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Randomize
