So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm too high and old for this...
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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