too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
