What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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