Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
