I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
