And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Randomize
