areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
