God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
