Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize