Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
there's paper in my vomit.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
