420 ftw
I just pynch a tree in the face
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
