Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
