can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
