I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize