He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
