I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
