my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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