put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Barsexuality is the new black.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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