Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize