somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
