He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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