lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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