He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
