he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
