I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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