3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
