it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I smell stomach acid.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
