All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
