just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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