and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
