why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
tell me about the eggs
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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