Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize