If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
this is an emotional support booty call
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
