We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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