so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
