clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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