I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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