S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
