I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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