Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize