Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
