it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
not ubering you a puppy
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
