whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
