he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
All the doctor said was why
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
