I'm drive I can fine osifer
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
As shirtless as possible
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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