hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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