A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
