you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
