apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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