I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
