Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
