her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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