you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
